day:
springtime guarantee of sunshine and happy smiles and a constant stream of people surrounding me engaged in incessant chatter that is lost on me as nothing but a resounding buzz. pompous lecturers with an overenthusiastic zest for eyes speak fast and i gaze straight ahead at the projection screen convincingly concientiously but my mind a complete blank. yet i relish the happy business around me that i refuse to partake in and want nothing but to soak up the feeling of life around me.
night:
stereotypical association of darkness with silence and solitude that i always fall prey to, and so does my mood, to the solace i have been trying to get used to. this is when silence gets unbearably deafening and the million thoughts running through my head like high speed bullets jab unmercilessly into the hard skeleton of my head. it never gets easier to bear, or more comfortable.
only more pain.
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